The hairs on my arms rose in an instant, and I felt a chill run through my body. In one dizzying moment, I felt as if the air rushed out of my lungs and as though time stood still. I immediately knew where I was and that I was supposed to be there. I knew her. I had never met her, but I knew in my gut that she was very significant, and in some way, key to my whole nightmare. I wanted to move, to step closer to her…but icy hands held my feet down. I could not walk, I could not move. I could only slowly turn towards her, and raised my eyes to meet her gaze.
Based on the creepiness of the shop and how unusual I felt, I half expected her to look demonic. At a minimum, I expected her to look as I would imagine a modern Wiccan woman, with long, flowing, black clothes and lots of crystal necklaces. But no, there was nothing witchy or even slightly bohemian about her. In fact, she looked as though she had been plucked from an Iowa corn field and dropped erroneously in this downtown, hipster shop. Her bright blue eyes and blonde hair that she wore in a high, cheerleaderish ponytail threw me. Her slight frame and slender body was not draped in a cloak, but instead in stylish jeggings, boots and a bright yellow tank top. She seemed to be about my age. She looked like no one I knew, yet I could not shake the feeling that I knew her, and knew her very well.
She came over to me quickly, and offered me a warm hug. I stepped back, knowing that I was now cursed, and she could not make contact with me at all. I bumped into a display, knocking things off the shelves and onto the floor.
“No!”, I shouted as I pulled away instinctively. “Don’t come near me. For your own safety.” She stopped trying to hug me, but still stayed close and faced me. She looked right into my eyes.
“Allison, I know why you are here. And don’t worry. I am safe around you. I am protected.” On cue, she pulled a long chain from around her neck that had been hidden under her tank top. From it dangled a tiny, clear bobble pendant which appeared to contain dirt.
My eyes went from the pendant back to her eyes. Her cool, calm, cornflower blue eyes that looked like clear skies. My eyes must have held the anxieties and fears within me, and they clearly betrayed my feelings to her because when she looked into them, her expression changed. What at first was a bright confidence became a sadness and what also looked like worry. Against my will, she took my hand. As I watched, I realized she was safe anyway – I had forgotten about the protective gloves I was wearing.
“Allison, it is alright. It is going to be alright”. Her tone was soothing. I believed her. I let her take my gloved hand, and lead me to the back of the shop. Behind the register was a small room that she apparently used as an office. It held a few shelves, boxes of inventory, a small desk, a chair and a small futon couch. It was decorated with brightly colored beads, angel charms, and what appeared to be Buddhist-type sayings in frames, which read things like “To awaken, sit calmly and breathe” and “The mind contains all possibilities”. She gestured to the couch. I sat down.
“Can I get you anything?” She moved to a mini-fridge that was under the boxes, and opened it to explore the contents. “I have Red Bull, Diet Coke, and…. Let’s see… a close to being expired yogurt.”
“I half expected you to offer me some weird herbal tea or something”, I joked. Luckily she laughed back.
“I know. This shop has a certain stereotypical vibe, right?” She smiled at me. I smiled back and noticed I had stared to relax a bit. “Um, Diet Coke please?” She handed me the soda, and sat next to me on the futon.
It was then I noticed it. In that one moment, it felt like my heart stopped, and icy hands were wrapped around my neck, strangling me. I could not breathe, regardless of what the Buddhist sign said. Because there, on the small desk, in a small frame, was a photo of the small boy who had changed my world when he said, “Tag”.
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